i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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