I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
