At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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