oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
