Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
