hell yes lets make some ravioli
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
