Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
