I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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