if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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