I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
