physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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