loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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