Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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