I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We're too hungover to prance.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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