I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
