I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
do nipples grow back?
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