Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
