Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
