Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
