yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
