I feel like I'm in dance class right now
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
