I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
