I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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