He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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