Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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