He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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