well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
