Please, let me fuck your mom
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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