all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
