garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
