I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize