Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
