When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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