what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
