I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
