Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
