somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
