Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
