How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
