Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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