Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
