And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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