I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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