I'm going to jail i love you
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
