I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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