So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
