bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
