They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
