i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize