That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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