wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize