i think my tv is drunk
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize