i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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