Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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