I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
