Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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