apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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