Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
