I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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