I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
