i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
