I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
