The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
