i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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