I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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