Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
