dude i'm inner monologue high
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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