guys are only as good as the porn they watch
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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