Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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