She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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