I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
