the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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