Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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